Let me share something about my personal friends. You know, my friends aren't perfect. They do things they weren't supposed to do; cutting classes, drinking & smoking, playing the "other girl" in other's relationships, flirting & kissing another guys other than their boyfriends, abortion, etc. But despite all that, I still treat them as my friends. But I have this friend who surprised me a lot. She now has a boyfriend, but the guy is her boss... and a married man.
She was my classmate and a close friend in 3rd year high school, and like me she was a prim & proper kind of girl - someone who "couldn't break a glass". We lost communication after graduation because we studied in different schools in college, but she found me on a networking site few years ago and there we started to communicate again, even texting each other. We always talked about our lives & experiences until one day, she asked me some questions I find "suspicious". I mean, it was weird because it was different from what we were always talking about. She begun asking me things like if I've ever been horny, if I kissed a guy already, and am I willing to be a friend to someone who's not virgin anymore (because our culture is so conservative and it's more "acceptable" in the society when a girl lose her virginity after marriage). I felt like she was only giving me hints of what she was going through, and I sensed with the questions that probably she was pertaining to herself and just seeking for assurance & acceptance. I asked her if she has a problem but she wouldn't tell me directly and would insist for me to come to their house instead. It was festival so I went to her place and met each other again for the first time after high school. I met also her visitors - 2 female co-workers and her boss. The ladies were singing in the living room, while me, her, and her boss left eating together on the table. While we were chatting, I noticed their gestures and the way they talked to each other. With that, it became obvious to me that they have a relationship, not just an employer to employee. I was in disbelief with my own thoughts because he's too old enough to be her grandfather!
Like an anime girl, I was unable to hide my surprised look to them and stared at her and burst "him??" She told me 'no', and the man was smiling at me. When he went outside, I asked her again if they have relationship but she denied it. I sensed that she was hesitant to tell me all. But that night, she texted me with a confirmation that still surprised me. Her boss is her current boyfriend! Ahh! My instinct was right therefore! She's so pretty and I couldn't understand why she chose that kind of guy, older than her father and already married! Well, she told me he's caring & kind & understanding... and good in bed, so she fell in love with him.
Funny! Her mother didn't know that her daughter's boyfriend was already in front of her. Yeah! Her mother doesn't know about it... yet.
Honestly, I was so disappointed with her. That was my initial reaction anyway. But who am I to tell her what she is supposed to do? I'm just a friend and I don't own her heart & mind. I was concerned with her but I don't have the right to inform her family or tell our mutual friends of what she's doing with her life. She's not a kid anymore, and in fact she's older than me, and she knows that what she's doing could destroy a family, and the karma might return to her. She just fell in love, I know... but with a wrong man! For her, maybe it's love. But for me, I think she's only looking for a father figure since her dad is a seaman working abroad. SOME people tend to fall in love with someone who has a huge age gap from them because they're unconsciously longing for a mother's or father's care.
Still, I don't support her choice of relationship because in every angle you view it, it's wrong!
Argh! I want to punch that old man to make him realize that he's already married and not a single bachelor!
Anyway, it's her life and she's just living it the way she wants and she's only making her own love story; and I'm not responsible for her actions.
I just keep this thing in mind: All of us do something wrong in life, too. If she commits mistakes, I believe that it will teach her a life lesson in the end and she'll learn from it.
I told her that we're still friends and I accepted her for who she is and what she has done with her life. Years passed but our friendship did not fade and I'm happy that she trusted me. She's special to me because she's really sweet, nice & kind, and we have many similarities. In fact, our birthdates are close, she's Sep 10 while mine is Sep 11. I guess, it's the reason why we're still close.
Maybe love is really blind as they say, and she's now in cloud nine. But if one day, I told myself, if she falls from the sky, I'll be her "safety nest" to catch her so she won't fall broken to the ground. I mean, my ears & shoulders are always ready for a friend in distress. Ah! I'm not a perfect kind of friend, of course! Sometimes, I hate what they're doing, but I couldn't just ignore them when they're already down
. It's not easy for me to turn my back just like that when I know someone is needing help (and considering we had good times?). I couldn't offer best advices, but I'm always WILLING to be there when they need me. Why? It feels good, eh. And for me, that's the job of a FRIEND - not to criticize them, but to BE THERE when they stumbled. CREDITS:
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